I am intimidated easily, as most recovering try-hards are. And what makes it worse is that I've found, we also lose our hearts very readily, usually to the people we're intimidated by. Now, I know it's not for everyone, but go with me for a moment, I fucking love Earth signs. Whether it's the quietly implied solid footing in the world, their steadfastness, their tenacity and drive, a love of beautiful things, like they really have it figured out for the most part. Organised and goal oriented, these are the people that I wish I could be like but know that these are lofty pipe dreams at best, what I can do is fall in love with them, often. I've said it before and I suspect I'll say it until the day I'm dead in the ground or on the air, like, I am never going to be able to thank you enough for giving me myself back. Being fortunate doesn't cut it, although I am. No, more than that you're just so kind and while I see you, we all see you, being this unyielding force, but still really nurturing and warm.
I think it's impossible not to look at you and what you've done and all the unpaved road ahead and not see the astonishing woman ready to beat the gemstones out of the caverns and rocks along her way. You've taken these things that could have been dull and lifeless and turned them into these gleaming things to light the way for the rest of forever. You are golden, you're something precious. You're the classic, thundering doom that rattles the speakers to a song that you've only heard the first few chords to but you know it will change everyone's life for the better. Listening to it changes you, watching you work changes the rest of us. I was terrified that I was going to manage to diminish you with the things I wasn't able to do, but I see now that that's not anything that could happen. You are dazzling.
You're all the things that artists and poets rhapsodize about, a specific kind of beauty that is almost unattainable in how a person is symmetrical or exudes some kind of aura that no one's able to capture, at least not quickly. A mischievous kind of smile, a knowing depth that isn't hidden in your eyes, but chooses who and when you want to show it. A sunshine warmth that practically glows off of you when you smile. You really are as beautiful as everyone always said you were, and then that much more. I am not going to hope that you get everything you want and then some because I have this feeling that if you don't, it won't be too long before things are course corrected. I hope you get things you didn't know you wanted or needed, I hope you don't think about the cake and just enjoy it for what it is and that you get frosting all over someone who isn't you. Thank you for letting me into your spaces and taking me in, thank you for being up front and wonderful all of the time. Thank you for everything you do for everyone, because god knows it's staggering.
Also, I love you and maybe most importantly and selfishly, I think you owe me a pop in the face, right?
